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13 Potential Reasons Why Older Men Like Younger Women
Why older men like younger women has been a mysterious pattern in the dating world throughout history. We have uncovered potential reasons for the same!
When it comes to dating and relationships, there are several unspoken norms and common events that we intuitively accept, especially in heterosexual relationships. But, as relationship dynamics are changing around the world, many people are questioning these events. They may ask: why are men always expected to ask out women and not the other way round, why do opposites attract, why older men like younger women, and so on.
We are particularly conditioned to the last one. Whether the age difference between a man and a woman is marginal or more significant, society seems to easily and naturally accept the relationship (unless of course, the age gap is too wide). However, when it comes to an older woman liking a younger man, the occurrence becomes a bit difficult to digest — sometimes even for the people involved in the dynamic!
So, why does this happen? Is it true that men mature at a slower pace and hence feel more equal with younger women? Does this stem from a misogynistic belief that women lose their attractiveness as they age? Or does this have nothing to do with maturity or social acceptability and is rather rooted in men’s emotional needs and compatibility?
Well, there isn’t a single answer to why such age-gap relationships are so common, as the science of attraction is a tough nut to crack! Hence, after much speculation, and discussions with relationship experts, we have jotted down the following reasons.
Here’s Why Older Men Like Younger Women
1. Dating a Younger Woman Seems Socially More Appropriate
Through centuries and in different parts of the world, it has been very common for older men to marry or be in relationships with women who are at least a decade younger than them, if not more.
A man in his 30s married to a woman in her early 20s or late teens is a common picture that has been engraved deep into most of our minds, in contrast to an older woman and younger man in a relationship, which seems like a taboo at the first glance, no matter how reasonable and emotionally mature one becomes.
Some men may get attracted to or desire to settle down with younger women, subconsciously because of their social conditioning, without even realizing it.
2. They May Want a Casual Relationship
Younger women are not as eager to have a long-term, committed relationship as older women. Believing so wouldn’t be presumptuous, as younger women are relatively inexperienced and have a long way to go before settling down.
Some older men, despite having friends who are either getting married or having kids, may still wish to remain footloose and date without any strings attached. Hence, they prefer going out with young girls and keeping things casual, without making promises for the future.
3. They May be Intimidated with Women Their Age
Not just physically, studies show that women become emotionally mature at an earlier age than men (1), (2). This may result in women becoming more independent, financially secure, and emotionally stable than men of the same age, which most men find very intimidating.
Such men may feel more on the same page with women younger than them, which would make them feel better about themselves. Besides, dating younger women would save men the insecurity of never being good enough to satisfy their partner’s needs, which matters immensely to them.
4. They May Want to Have Kids
Quite contrary to the previous point, wanting to have kids is also a common reason why some older men like younger women. It is a general notion that younger women are more fertile, and hence, likely to be healthier child-bearers. While some of this is rooted in biology, it is not always true and might stem from a misogynistic worldview.
Fertility may vary across individuals, and if a woman is unable to bear a child the traditional way, there are other ways of having children too, such as egg donors, surrogates, in-vitro fertilization, adoption, etc.
5. They May Seek Playfulness
Some men get into dating not just to settle down but also to let loose and be able to enjoy the little pleasures of life better. As they are older, they may be beset with responsibilities, family problems, financial needs, future plans, etc. on a day-to-day basis.
In a situation like this, a man would benefit a lot from being with a young girl who cheers him up and revitalizes his mood. Some silliness, giggles, playing games, calling each other names, etc., would help him take his mind off problems and encourage him not to take things too seriously in life.
Point to Consider: Just because a man may like being in a relationship with a younger girl because of the playfulness that follows doesn’t necessarily mean that he wouldn’t respect and admire her as an adult. After all, men don’t necessarily equate childlike playfulness with immaturity but would find those qualities in a woman very endearing.
6. Younger Women Are Likely to Give More Validation
One of the most important reasons why most men like younger women is simply the fact that most women like older men. Women like men who are emotionally mature and make them feel safe, secure, and taken care of, which is easier to find in older men than in younger ones.
They consciously or unknowingly happen to validate older men more and send out signals of being interested and happy with them. Hence, men simply get drawn to such women who make them feel special.
Read More: Am I in Love? 20 Signs to Help You Understand Your Feelings
7. Desire to Take the Dominant Role in a Relationship
If the age gap between a man and a woman is more considerable than marginal, it may be because of the man’s desire to play the dominant role in the relationship. Some men actively look for women who have less experience than them as that gives them an opportunity to show off or teach stuff to them, thereby getting an ego boost.
Such a man would want to take her to places she has never been to before, explain her concepts that she likely doesn’t already understand, and perhaps even introduce her to physical intimacy, which she perhaps hasn’t explored much in the past. In a nutshell, a man like that would be drawn towards the power imbalance.
When a woman is younger and thereby more inexperienced, the chances of her getting impressed are much higher, which is an opportunity most men don’t want to let go of.
8. They May Seek a “Trophy Wife”
Unfortunately, society still measures a woman’s attractiveness with her age and idolizes the physique and appearance of a young woman. For some insecure men, marrying a younger woman is hence, a great way to boost their ego.
Such a man would jump at the opportunity to show off his young and beautiful wife to people, while also asserting that he still hasn’t lost his charm despite his age and would continue to be attractive as he gets older, unlike how it is with women.
9. They May Have a Father Complex
Now, taking interest in younger women may not just come from a place of insecurity in men, but can also stem out of their protective/parental instincts. Some older men may have an infamous father complex in them, which makes them feel immediately drawn to young and innocent women, often with the intent of keeping them secure and happy.
10. Desire for More Satisfying Physical Intimacy
Just because everyone ages chronologically at the same pace doesn’t mean that they mature at the same pace, too. Some people become more sensible and wise sooner at an earlier age, while in the case of others, immaturity lasts even till the 4th or 5th decade of their lives.
Older men who are unable to let go of their immaturity naturally find themselves attracted to younger women. This helps with their self-esteem and gives them an opportunity to connect with someone on the same mental tangent as themselves.
12. Facing a Midlife Crisis
Regardless of gender, some people find it hard to accept the fact that they are aging and wish to continue indulging in activities that are usually associated with younger people, such as clubbing, casual dating, travel, adventure, etc.
By dating younger women or taking interest in them, some older men like to relive their youth or perhaps find a way to delay life changes that come with aging.
13. Women Their Age May Already be Taken
Here’s the most popular reason why older men like younger women of all — women their age are either already married, in a long-term relationship, or are done with the concept of marriage or relationships and are simply not available. Even if these men may wish to go out with someone their own age, they simply don’t have that option, and hence, go for younger women.
These are some major reasons why older men like younger women, but there can be other reasons, too, such as genuine compatibility, predatory mindset, gold-digging pursuits from the other end, pure chance, etc. As we’re maturing more as a society in the context of relationships, and adapting to be more accepting of people’s choices, healthy relationships between older men and younger women, and vice versa, should not be frowned upon too much.
We should understand that attraction and compatibility are complex psychological concepts, and we cannot oversimplify such things to support our prejudices. After all, love finds its way, sometimes in the most unexpected situations and with the most unlikely people!
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